square cocoon

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how funny is it that i made this and realized afterwards that i find myself in a square cocoon of my own making?

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how to: i started with 8x8 canvasboard, added layers of tissue paper and paint and stiched a paper napkin square with butterfly motif to a square of muslin (the sides unravelled). i then added cardboard, a poem, threads & washers, glued the top two layers to the cavasboard (adding 3 ribbons secured between the layers to hang it) and finished the piece with touches of paint, gold gel pen & beads.

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(C) MJ Calitz, 2009

red barn

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(C) Photographs, MJ Calitz, 2009

both & everything between

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sometimes my heart is smashed

sometimes my heart is green

and sometimes my heart is both

and everything between

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(C) photograph & verse, MJ Calitz, 2009

softly

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(C) MJ, 2009

clown girl

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she's my little clown girl. acrylics on 11 x 14 inch canvas with 3D elements.

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(C) Painting, MJ Calitz, 2009

paint me

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if i were a bird house

on top of a bench

paint me with flowers

thirsty & pink

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(C) photographs, MJ Calitz 2008. photo art & verse, MJ, 2009

pLay

If you've been wondering why I've been so scarce the last week or three, here's your answer…or at least part of it :-P… I've been busy with some art projects, playing with paint, paper, wood, canvas, fabric, beads, etc. & I will reveal them as I go. The rainy weather has been both a blessing and a curse, giving me time to sit down and create, but also slowing the process down (trust me, humidity is not a friend of paints, glues & fixatives.)
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So here's a piece I call [blueX9]. It still needs to be finished with a fixative, but for the most part, it is done. It's roughly 8 x 11 inches, acrylics on paper, glued onto blocked, sanded & painted hardboard. The 3D elements are string & dried paint from paint tube caps.

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If you click on the 3rd picture (to enlarge) you will get a better idea of the texture, which I created by roughing up the paper a bit while gluing & randomly scraping wet medium with an old credit card or dabbing with a piece of cloth. I layered black gel pen & different dilutions of blue, red, gold & white acrylic paint, using stamps, stencils & brushes, until I got the effect that I wanted.

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doN't be afraid to pLay with painT

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(C) Art, MJ Calitz, 2009

time is a verb

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the time it takes for a car door to rust

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for weeds to grow tall

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for the clouds to pass so you can take a picture of the shadows those weeds make on the rusted car

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or to catch a ray of sun on the bumper

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time is a verb.

patience is the lesson.

and the pay off,

is beauty

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(C) words & photographs, MJ Calitz, 2009

how super!

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nail polish ?(!)
on a boy ???
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& wHy noT?
it makes the eyes poP
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:-P
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the original black & white photograph (not shown here) of my nephew, Gideon, was taken by a family member. it was so darling, i couldn't resist playing with the image.

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(C) MJ Calitz, 2009

i. flower

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like yellow & butterfly...i can't quite describe the way you make me thrive...like sunshine in paint on blues & grayish greens, you make me queen. & sometimes i blur a little. but you always shine a light on me

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(C) words & photographs, MJ Calitz, 2009

vintage

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two weeks ago one of my friends made me a very happy girl. he put a camera in my hands (or a fairy box, as the folks at the renaissance festival kept reminding me) and gave me permission to roam his backyard and take as many photographs as my heart wished. keeping in mind that his backyard contains a barn as well as half a dozen old cars, i was in fairy box heaven for a couple of hours. this was my favorite FAVORITE picture of the day. i almost can't believe that i took it. watch this space. more will most definitely follow...

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(C) Photograph, MJ Calitz, 2009

treasure

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i found treasure...papers, fabrics, yarns, trims & rusted things. some in craft shops, some from home, more from friends who knows that i'm collecting these things. when i saw this little rusted gun, i wanted to eternalize it inside a nest of paper & creamy texture, like this...

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(C) MJ Calitz, 2009

gather ye merry skirts

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Renaissance festival, Harveysburg, OH
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(C) Photographs, MJ Calitz, 2009

inside the cake fairy's soul

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(C) MJ Calitz, 2009 (click on pic to enlarge)

the colors we possess

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we made love in my mind

& i saw

all the colors of the rainbow

explode

inside

my skin

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(C) MJ Calitz, 2009

carved

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somehow your face got carved into the light & hard of my days. and i had to take a picture

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(C) Photograph, MJ Calitz, 2009

journey rocks!

Okay, i don't normally post music videos on my blog, but there is always an exception, yes?

Last night we went to a concert of Journey with their seXy new lead singer Arnel Pineda. They opened with an aWesome cover of Foreigner's "hot blooded," ROCKED out songs like "wheel in the sky" & "seperate ways" and meLted hearts with "faithfully." Here are videos of my favorite two songs of the evening"...

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"anyway you want" (with a stunning guitar solo by Neil Schon)

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&
"lights"

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peace out
mj

love & lace

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i am not a doLL.
i've decided that
a long time ago
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but
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porcelain & lace. bLack lace
is how i feel some days
about this stillborn thing
we insiSt on calling "love"
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or. like a raggedy anne
with no arms
permanent smile sewed on
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he stabs me with words
pouring from his aRtless soul
& i become the invisible child again
& i grieve. & i smiLe
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i used to think that love was
a magical ballooN
with layers of depth & delight
liFting you. up. up. uP
but you. you cut me doWn
without regard. & i fall
& i grieve. & i smile
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how can you deny me my souL,
walk away
& then return hours later
wanting to maKe love?
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i am noT a doll
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today i sat down & found my focus.

take back your arms &
believe in yourself.
if i can do it,
so can you
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(C) Words & art, MJ Calitz, 2009

a drop of nothing

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do you sometimes get that feeling too? the one where the moment right after you think you got it, you realize, that you got nothing but a drop on parched lips...

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[i call these pictures "what do you mean? duo 1 & 2"]

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(C) Photographs, MJ Calitz, 2008

inspiration cross

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"inspiration cross" - acrylics on wood embellished with papers, fabrics, beads, ribbons, etc. including antique lace and a hat pin from my creative grandmother

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i made this cross to remind me to love my life, live in the moment and embrace my creative side.

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(C) MJ Calitz, 2009

draw a chair

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(C) MJ Calitz, 2009

about the journey

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this was not supposed to be anything. i was just experimenting with different inks, paints & techniques and then it started to look like something so i kept going and before it was done, i realized that art [life] [love] is more about the journey than the final product.

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as i make these things for you that are born inside the depths of my soul, love drips from my fingertips like vanilla ice cream melting in the summer sun. dripping. dripping. seeping through my pores. deep deep down. no, it doesn't matter that i sometimes choose not to eat dessert because you have branded me with your dark chocolate love. love. love, i will always. be. yours.
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…even when i'm not making something for you, i remember that you love autumn leaves.
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(C) Art & words, MJ Calitz, 2009

morning light

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morning light. fog paints the air ethereal. butterflies hang on the willow tree like two upside down hearts still asleep while flowers wake up taking thirsty sips of dew. the beauty of it all takes my breath away

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(C) Photographs & words, MJ Calitz, 2009

rules for surviving

when you're a butterfly

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1.
don't be a zoMbie loveR
stuck to the liPs of
a god chiseled out of
starduSt & cliMb my limbs
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2.
don'T forget
that he has feet of cLay.
& for god sake
doN't fall at his feet
starving clinging
caRving angel wings
on his back
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3.
don't eat out of his haNds &
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4.
whaTever you do
don't feed him blOwn kisses
taSting like hoPe because
they have the tendency
to bouNce back
& hiT you in the heart
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No.
this
is
noT
what
this
is
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thiS is
don't look into the fUture
lest you tuRn into a deer
caught in the headlighTs
frOzen in stone
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yeS, i am still a butterfLy.
but that doeSn't mean
that i should fLitter
to faSt forward
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(C) MJ Calitz, 2009. art, mj, 2009

inadvertent & reaL

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but she shiNes!?! even the sun spins pure gold threads in her haiR, you say, shivering & confused. just call her goLdilocks. (that's the faiRytale anyway.) but soMe days. she locks you out with her lashes. the saMe lashes that kiSsed your eyes, touched your souL your heart your ear, crawled iNside & stayed without invitation. & you search but you can't fiNd the keyhole & her barbwire tongue, sO pretty, so pink, inadvertently cuTs you in 2. too far away. you want to remeMber the kisses. but they burSt against your i. effervescent. ephemeral. eveR elusive…illusive.
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truth? nobody knows the damn truth. aLL we can do is be here…BE HERE & be reaL
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(C) MJ Calitz, 2009

press play

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she stands in front of the mirror. feeling heavy. feeling unsure of what comes next. the morning light has always been healing & kind. press play. the music begins. she closes her eyes, let it wash over her. her body knows what to do. she begins to move. it just feels good dancing to gypsy guitars, the beat of ancient lovers echoing on her soul in double sway. she is woman. her hips celebrate. black slip slides on skin. wild hair flies sticks cascades. she bites her lip. smiles. crows feet. eyes invite. hold secrets only lovers should find. find the rhythm inside you. it doesn't matter if you don't know the steps. just dance!

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(C) MJ Calitz, 2009

thank you

thank you SO much for all the birthday wishes! i am truly blessed.

watch this movie: the ugly truth (hilarious)
eat here: Logan's Roadhouse & the Cheesecake Factory (both receives a "yum" from me)

a day at the beach

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California

&

Florida

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(C) All photographs, MJ Calitz, 2008 & 2009

flowers & clouds

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the illusion of "supposed to" is a muLti layered quilt of lies keeping you cosy & calm. wHy don't you step ouTside for a while & enjoy the beauty of a flower. a cloud.
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(C) Photographs of flowers, MJ Calitz, 2008 & 2009. Photograph of clouds, D Calitz, 2009

the idea of me

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"i think i'm falling in love with the idea of you," he said (long time ago). and i didn't understand until the other day, driving home, that that was probably one of my biggest fears come true. that statement was like a wolf in sheep's clothes. a trip switch hidden inside a wishful thought. which is exactly what made it dangerous. the wishing part. because the idea of me could be any damn thing. could be a virginal white lamb. could be goth girl spreading her legs, or. be-my-whimsical-fairy-artist. or sunshine on toast. could actually be brave & have something to say. what if the idea of me is one dimensional. conditional. unforgiving. or what if the idea of me is bigger than me? in fact what if it's so impossibly high that i'll never reach it, no matter how hard i try?
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& what if that is how i've tried to live my life so far...to be the idea of me.
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(C) MJ Calitz, 2009. drawings by mj - ink, oil pastels & acrylics on paper.

classroom

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do you sometimes feel like life is a classroom and summer is just a dream?

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(C) Photograph, MJ Calitz, 2008

mini earthquakes

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All my life I've been dancing to other peoples drums for their love & approval, just for the people I've tried to please so hard, to set newer, higher standards whenever it pleased them. Here's the thing: I set myself up for a life of "servitude" & disappointment, not only constantly disappointing them, but constantly disappointing (not to mention ignoring) myself. I always knew it (because I've been rebelling against it for so long just adding guilt on top of the disappointment), but I never KNEW it.
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I suddenly realized this while standing at the kitchen counter eating a ham sandwich for dinner the other night, right after I realized that something was shifting in my mind. It had to be because I made 3 very clear decisions that day…
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1. I don't have to ride the bicycle (ever again) if I don't want to. Even though he bought it for me and it wasn't cheap. Even though I finally learned how to ride a bike last year. Even though he insists that it will be fun. I don't HAVE to.
   
2. It is good to be healthy, but I don't have to diet or gym so hard. I'm okay just the way I am. & the objective is to be healthy. for mySelf. noT skinny for anyone else.
   
3. I don't have to feel guilty about ANYthing. Nobody can make me unless I let them…unless I choose it.

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& trust me, these are not small shifts for me…these are mini eaRthquakes
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Here's another mini earthquake for me…

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I drew this eye this morning. and it's not perfect, but I never thought I could...Imagine the possibilities.
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(C) All art, MJ Calitz, 2009

bunnies or flowers

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rabbits visit my garden. real rabbits. they're so cute. but the little rascals dig up my garden and eat the flowers. what to do? apparently pepper oil is the thing to keep them out of the flowerbeds. i hope it works because i like the rabbits, but i like my flowers too.

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(C) Photograph MJ Calitz, 2009

i hope you read this

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how many times do i write
my secrets on a piece of paper
and then shine a light on it?
& everyone reads
between the lines
what i probably didn't
say. or exactly
what i said but wished
i didn't say quite so loud
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and before i can catch it
crumple it into my mouth
chew & swallow
to get it back inside
because inside
is where it belongs
it flies. too high
it flies like a bird
with a broken wing
displayed. vulnerable. proud
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i cringe & whisper
please be kind
be honest
be brutal. so i
can grow brain trees. drop seeds
but sometimes i swallow your ink
and drown for a little while
& i have to spit it out
so i don't choke on the feathers
sticking to my lips
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i hope you read this & know
that i'm not so broken not so loud
not so [fill in the blank]...
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Ps. i wanted the girl in the drawing to look a bit freaky...like a dripping wet little love junkie with a tree growing out of her head...for some reason i have "lady of the lake" in my mind's eye (from a movie trailer i saw), but maybe more like tim burton's corpse bride *grin*
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(C) Art & poem, MJ Calitz, 2009

today

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in my cd player:

• jason mraz - we sing. we dance. we steal things.
• sara bareilles - little voice

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books i'm reading:

• "the sugar queen" by sarah addison allen
• "the creative license" by danny gregory

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favorite quotes:

• "It is looking at things for a long time that ripens you and gives you a deeper understanding." - Vincent van Gogh -
• "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha -

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(C) Photographs, MJ Calitz, 2008