to all who visit here...

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tHis bloG will nOt bE uPdaTed for tHe neXt 6 weeKs

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i'm entertaining guests form south africa & going on a cross country trip all the way to california and back including such beautiful places as the grand canyon and las vegas. hopefully i'll take lots of stunning pictures and share them with you when i get back.

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iN tHe meaN tiMe, pLeasE feeL fRee to viSit thiS spAce as oFten as yOu waNt and i'll sEe yoU wHen i seE YOu...

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xoxoxo
mj
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life's too short

(oil pastels & water colors, 2008)

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i'm falling falling into your heart like a little star finding home...

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watch this movie: garden state

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new songs in my ear:

bright eyes - first day of my life

regina spector - samson / fidelity / better

damien rice - the blower's daughter

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fragile

(oil pastels & water colors, 2008)

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scab

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we run. separately
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but. every time i hit a milestone. or you hit one. i remember. i remember darkness in the room. i remember dolls & pretty dresses. i remember your clammy fingers. everywhere. shame is a planet far from here. and i am a fairy princess living there. i am not from this world. nor will i ever be. i fly. pie! pie! the king says, bake me a cherry pie with baby cherries. fresh & sweet. sing me a song. weep me a garden. only pink flowers grow there. snow white sheep nuzzle my cheek. i hug them deep. soft & safe. you will never reach me here. i nap under shady trees. i sing
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why?
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why? does it sometimes feel like i'm picking a scab that's already healed. why does it bleed?
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so you're walking down the aisle again
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who cares

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(C) Copyright MJ Calitz, 2008

you. i breathe

(poem & dual brush pens, 2008)

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i bReathe the uNcut flowers grOwing in your soul. grow groW she whiSpers drEams. coMe fill my ear. i drink you tHirsty with grins gRowing roots in laUghing wrinkles kiSsed my eyes. your whiMsical heaRt is fertile ground is bEautifully siLLy jokes is sWeet warm tea nourishing my fAiry berry dreams liFting me up up uP. i aM the sUn. sunrays nO greys. just yelloW blooms filling my nose kiSsing both iLashes with petalled fiNger aFternoons. tea? 4for 2two. pOpcorn & winged cocoons. yOu pull me iN you sPin me deep stuCk in favorite cookie trees. leaves rustle my kNees. you plaNt me like an uN cut fLower. yoU. i breathe

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(C) Copyright MJ Calitz, 2008

not an oil painting

(photo edit with water colors in background, 2008)

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he's not an oil painting
my mother would say
of men who didn't look
like pretty boys
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i've had oil paintings before
but they just don't fit me
because i guess i'm
a crayon kind of girl
who likes
to get her hands dirty
every so once in a while

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(C) Copyright MJ Calitz, 2008

sTar

(water colors, oil pastels & ink, 2008)

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visited

(photo taken & edited, 2008)

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i sensed rather than saw there in the corner a dark angel hanging upside down from the ceiling of my room tea stained wings folded like a cocoon silent screams piercing my soul with electric guitars screeching within eyes the color of ice water stabbing searching my soul. for what? did they think me a threat. little me? why? i could barely fathom the magnitude the expanse of the surface skimmed unconnected morsels weaved inside a web of too much. & for a minute half awake i cringed my fear swallowing me in a sea of hell inside my heart beating like an injured bird inside my hand. & for a second i believed it was real. i saw you too. you felt it in your dreams.
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and to this day, angel of death or angel of truth or just a half dreamt up vision going "poof." i still don't know. but this i do. after that winter i wasn't so scared anymore

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(C) Copyright MJ Calitz, 2008

i am a flower too

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when he was just a boy, he thought...

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i think that's sweet

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because i wasn't always the pretty flower...

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but i chose to grow roots

& i'm blooming lovely now
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(painting: mj, oilpastels & watercolors, 2008

photograph: me, age 8, i think

card: "blooming lovely" b. downes)

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the official "just because i care spur of the moment" card that i could frame from the best roommate ever! (we didn't plan this) love you babe! Stellenbosch, 1996
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thaNk yOu So mucH (!) for aLL the heaRtfelt wisHes & pReseNts 4 my BiRtHdaY, yeSterDay. y'all R 2 sPeciAL 2 me
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