streams of impolite

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you might understand this lament, this ache inside, this emptiness, this void. or you might not. why is it unusual? it's just me. take my hand & lead me to that sickle moon where i last left you to wonder about life and "hold to soul. hold. hold." yes! hold. doesn't dance take you there too? deep inside your core where the ache begins and it's so sad but you don't want to leave. and strangely the piano does that too...so achingly beautiful. these words have been straining to come out. i can. play. i can't play. (no words come) control this silly cake eating fairy who yearns for clouds on her tongue. who screams. pierce my dreams. hold your tongue. hold! it's not always polite to talk. these little looks she gives me, the fairy inside. like delicate accusing feet's pitter patter. like rain on window panes. rain rain...the grass is dying. dye my hair. i don't want to but grey is not cool & newborn hair refusing to lie flat is not polite either. in fact it's like cellulite on thighs & orange peel in eyes. it burns. close my i. why is it okay for others to just be? (but not for me) & how does it look so damn easy? stop! breathe. begin with this, these words. reveal. release. let them fly. sometimes i hate pathetic swimming in my poems. so fucking tragic. so drowning queen. too fragile & too impolite. stop. breathe. allow to be me. shiny & warm. no visitor counter. comment if you like. or not. & i want to play with you but. it's just...the days are too short and sometimes the connection between my brain and my hands, my brain and my tongue, my brain and my life, fails. miserably. pathetically. impolitely. and instead of saying this is about dancing and cake, but it's not, this is about emotions and yearnings, i write poems crying wolf to the moon. so...you might understand this. or you might not. either way, i'll sit down and shut up now.

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(C) Copyright, MJ Calitz, 2009. Photograph taken by MJ, Florida, 2009

moon dance

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sickle moon,
i send my wish to you
i send my hunger
i send my ache
i send my guitar wedding cake
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i reach my arms, my hands
my fingers stretched
on toes i dance
stretch. arch. control
lose all my emotions to you
catch it back
hold to my soul
hold
hold
if i could dance like an angel

on muscled legs
on clouds of beautiful
on soul
pump me full
pump me full
eat my fill of wedding cake
instead i sit here
here i sit
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sickle moon,
i send my empty to you
no child to hold
no dance
no you
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(C) Copyright MJ Calitz, 2009. all art & digital collage, mj, 08 & 09

hugMe 2

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this is lovebug (who wouldn't love a face like that?)

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& daisy doll (sister africa meets sweetheart)

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(my dog loved her too)

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(C) MJ Calitz, 2009

strangers & friends

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i wore my blue dress friday..."looK mommy, a priNcess!" he said, but all i saw was my funny toes aNd the sun reflecting off my curLs

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i wore my blue dress suNday..."are you going to a partY?" he teased, but all i saw was loVe & laughter aNd she hugged me all nighT long
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(C) MJ Calitz, 2009

gReeN

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so this morning i was in the mood for fresh morning air and green grass...big was my surprise when i checked on the nest and found an egg inside. creation. possibility. life! my trees are now houses for birds. how awesome is that?

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have a beautiful weekend
love & sunshine
mj
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(C) Photographs, MJ Calitz, 2009

wild flower

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(C) Photograph & painting, MJ Calitz, 2009

butterfly dreams

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in her dreaM she wore a coat of fir & wHen she blinked, butterfLies appeared like fReckles peeling off her face. wHat joy, she thought…aNd what poEtry...

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btw david found this little bird nest in a baby fir tree in our back yard saturday morning and i had to take a picture (or three). & yes, all the trees in our back yard are baby size...hopefully with lots of rain and love they will grow up to be "reading poetry under the tree" or "having a picnic in the shade" trees one day & have lots of birds nests...i added the paper butterfly when i took the picture, because i'm such a silly romantic girl & i loved the green inside green effect.
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(C) Poetry, photographs & edit, MJ Calitz, 2009

one life

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in the end it doesn't matter what you think of me. it matters that i live my life

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(C) MJ Calitz, 2009. photograph taken by MJ, 2008

disintegration & reconstruction (1)

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Yesterday I was inspired by one of my favorite blogs http://thealteredpage.blogspot.com/. The artist challenged other artists to join his disintegration collaboration project, in which you put together different elements and leave it outside for a period of time to disintegrate, after which you can then display it as art for the sake of disintegration or take it apart and use it in other art pieces.

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Because i loved the idea of disintegrating and reconstructing materials, I decided to try it, MJ style of course. So I took a strip of textured paper and added paint, teabags, felt, crumpled pieces of typed poetry, ribbons & threads, pins & paperclips and took some "before" pictures.

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Then I added an extra teabag for love and another strip of textured paper on top for a possible reversed faded copy, rolled, wrapped and bagged it and hung it outside in the rain on the baby maple tree in my backyard hoping for some bleeding and maybe rusting effects. (orange bags are handy for so many things.)

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I couldn't take a picture of the package hanging in the tree for you, because it has been raining nonstop since last night and the wind is doing the blur dance with my camera. maybe later. and yay(!) for the rain (my grass and trees are happy too).

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Now all you have to do is wait and see what happens next...

smiles & kisses

mj

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(C) MJ Calitz, 2009

paint brush

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april skies in orange swirl

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(C)Painting, Acrylics on canvas panel, MJ, 2009

bounce & fly

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he throws me with an airplane
it bounces off me
like a white rubber thing
he laughs
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life is like that
it gets thrown at you
from all angles
it can be a train smash
a natural disaster
a joke. or
a little knock on the door
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it all depends on
where you sit
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& how you land
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(C) Copyright MJ Calitz, 2009. picture & edit, mj, 2009

no rules

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sometimes i don't write anything and that's okay too

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(C) mj calitz, 2009

lulu rabbit

when i was a child i had a pink paisley bunny...

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meet lulu

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i made her! she's the first in a series of "hug me dolls" that will hopefully one day belong to a child that will adore her just like i adored my bunny. so watch this space for more "hug me's"

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(C) mj calitz, 2009

hiding in my head

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they won't find you here
here inside my head
no, they won't
find you standing
right there
there right next to me
because here
inside my head
there are also words
feminine & photographs
order, attic style
whimsy. shadows. chaos
earth, pink & spotlight
reflections in reflections
blur, contrast & repeat
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they think i am sunshine
they think i am dark
but really i am all of that
& everything between
so when they open me up
& look inside my head
don't be scared, my love
because they won't
find you in here
hiding everywhere
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(C) Copyright MJ Calitz. Photograph, mj, 2008