cherish the moment

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"a little smile, a word of cheer,

a bit of love for someone near,

a little gift from one held dear,

best wishes for the coming year."

- John Greenleaf Whittier -

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"I wish we could put some of the Christmas spirit in jars, and open a jar of it every month."

- Harlan Miller -

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MERRY CHRISTMAS

May your Christmas be filled with love & precious memories. Stop running around. Forget about finding the best gift or cooking the perfect dish or decorating the prettiest tree. Instead, this year, remember & cherish the simple meaningful moments shared with loved ones both gone and here. that's all we really have.

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be safe & be loved

mj

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(C) Photographs, MJ Calitz, 2009

the christmas door

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what a lovely day for a walk, alice thought one sunny october morning and promptly grabbed her furry boots and her camera. she marveled in the rich colors of the season. it looked like all the trees in the world were dipped in sunshine & pumpkin. but then she turned a corner and suddenly she saw it...a christmas door in the middel of autumn. how festive, she thought and took a few pictures just in case nobody believed her...and that is the story of the christmas door.

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(C) Photographs, MJ Calitz, 2009

iNside you

I have a long blog for you today. A little bit of art & a little bit of soul.

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My friend Heather asked me to paint a canvas for her bedroom. She redecorated the room and needed something new to hang above her bed. I felt very excited about this. The fact that someone wanted to hang my art in an intimate space like their bedroom and more so that she trusted me to paint something she'd like. Because she said I could paint anything I wanted to. That's a big request.
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I thought about it for a while and then decided that I wanted to give her something soft and dreamy…something feminine. So I picked blues and grays and creams that would fit in with her decor, a little chocolate and a little silver…and without thinking about it too much, instinctively painted this…

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…with all the drying time included I finished it in 3 and a half days. It's 24 x 36 inches. And I used acrylics and a wooden word that I originally thought about using as a stamp. I painted 90% of it with an old credit card and the rest with the back of a paintbrush, except for the word, which I painted layering different colors until I got the desired effect and attached to the canvas with gloss gel.
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I have always been shy and a little possessive / protective with my art and I thought it would be hard to let go of it (this is the first painting to leave my house), but to my surprise it was easy and joyful and I feel light and accomplished. And suddenly I'm more relaxed about my art too, not just to let it go, but also what I do and how. I've learned to trust my instincts more and not to worry so much about the outcome and what others may expect of me. I've said this before, but now I feel it too.
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Here is the second thing I wanted to blog about...
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There comes times in our lives when we feel like we need to do something. something that is right. something that can also be painful. Whether it be ending a chapter in your life, starting something new or telling the truth.
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I have come to such a point in my life. I was not happy. In fact I was down right depressed and felt like I was literally in pain for months. it took so much energy just to get up in the morning and pretend that I was fine that I stopped doing things that mattered to me & things that brought me joy. And I clung to the wrong things. And I thought I had to make this big move to heal all this.
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I had it all figured out and was ready to make my move. But it wasn't the answer. The answer was right in front of me…was one of those things that I have known, but didn't want to know. and one morning in the shower it all became very clear to me and I knew what I had to do. I had to let something go and I needed to become fully present in my life. Yes, I know, this is another thing that I have said before, but have never felt so clearly before. It was one of those things you know and yet you have to get there yourself before you can do it. It was hard and I feel sad and sorry that I hurt someone in the process. But I know that this was the right thing to do because suddenly I feel calm and strong and light. And for the first time in a while, I feel real hope again.
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So here is a little painting, a little poem & a little soul talk...
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find your balance
find your strength
find your artist
inside
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find your kindness
and your forgiveness
find your respect
inside
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inside
inside
inside
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find yourself
inside
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REMEMBER:
Your strength lies iNside you. Others have only as much power over you as you give them.
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Whatever you do, always be true to yourself, respect yourself and speak your truth.
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When you doubt yourself, tell yourself "I can do this," "I did my best," or "I am enough."
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TruSt your instincts.
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If you feel like you've done something unforgivable, forgive yourself & let it make you stronger.
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And the biggest present you can give yourself is to bE present in your life. If you are always stuck in the past or worried about the future, you are missing your life. Time is precious.
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YOu are precious.

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I will see if I can find some Christmas-y photographs to share with you on my next blog.
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mistletoe & santa kisses,
mj
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(C) MJ Calitz, 2009

birds of a feather

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acrylics, water colors, oil pastels, ink, permanent marker, paper, threads, ribbons & feather on 8 x 8 muslin square

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(C) MJ Calitz, 2009

blue

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this is one of the paintings i call my "2 minute paintings." it didn't really took just 2 minutes, but i sometimes sit down and my hands start moving and when i'm done it seems like only 2 minutes have gone by. so. anyway, i love the background color. it's called unbleached white.

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(C) Art, MJ Calitz, 2009

my happy tree

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this is what i did last weekend. i put bows on the baby maple tree in my back yard. white bows. yellow bows. red bows. shiffon bows & denim bows. now, everytime i look at my back yard, i see a happy tree & i smile

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(C) Photographs, MJ Calitz, 2009

juSt me

My self confidence as an artist took a nose dive this past few weeks.
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Why? You ask.
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I call myself an artist, a poet, a photographer. And yet it feels like I have nothing to show for it sometimes.
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There comes a point in every artists work where you think "Oh no, I went too far or I messed it up."…OR you do something "brilliant" and you're too scared to mess that up, so you stop before it's done...OR you lose your "message"…which is to say, you lose your reason to create. (& which is also a subject worth it's own investigation but we won't go into all that now.) Well, here's the thing, I have 7 (SEVEN!) unfinished paintings & collages in my craft room right now. (...why am I suddenly scared of my own craft room?)
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I haven't written a poem in ages. It's like the words are all scrambled inside my head and won't come out right and the longer I'm silent, the harder it gets. This is a big problem for me but I'm ignoring it…it's like the elephant in the room no one will talk about, but every one knows is there…I have a word elephant.
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And then my very technical husband, bless his soul, bought a new camera and is suddenly IN LOVE with photography. This is good, yes? Yes, because at last he is interested in something creative that we can share and maybe it will make him less impatient with me when we're on vacation and I want to take a million photographs. And no, because…well, because he's so much better at it than me, being the technical whiz that he is. And I've never been very technical. Terms like "shutter speed" and "aperture" are not in my vocabulary (or my trick bag for that matter) and one of my favorite special effects in photography is taking pictures into the sun, which any photographer worth his salt will tell you is a no no.
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So we go on a hike the other day taking both our cameras and I feel good. I feel exhilarated. (I take the million pictures.) But when I get home, I discover that most of my pictures have a lens reflected somewhere in it, because my husband suggested that I use a UV filter, which I have never used before. My first instinct (being a little scared and a lot stubborn) was to say no, because I get along just fine without it, thank you. But then I think, why not try something new? Maybe it helps me to take better pictures. But it doesn't, and I end up disappointed and frustrated, posting, deleting and settling…which, this blog is NOT about. This blog is about shining.
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And then to top it all, we spend Thanksgiving with friends. After the meal we hang out at the table talking, playing games and eventually drawing with crayons (which we used during the games). And my friends' daughter sketches a beautiful, delicate, realistic portrait of a goth girl in minutes (WITH A CRAYON!), no sweat, while I draw bold, childlike hearts, flowers and suns on my page. My friend says I'm searching, because I fill the blank spaces in between with swirls & curls.
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My poor artist ego…after all that. And what do I do? I hide under soft blankets, bundles of laundry and a stack of books. Not to diminish the value of a nap, clean clothes or reading a good book…but, wow! what a silly girl I sometimes am.
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So here I am. No painting, No photograph. No poem. Just me. And I have to remember that I am enough (even though I seem very small right now).
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MJ Calitz, 2009