puppets, green cards & mermaids

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gLue me a doLLS head with fLoweRs on toP. maKe it pRetty. doN't sTop...waiT. scratch tHat. tell mE the tRutH. wHere does kaRma & deStinY stop aNd wheRe do i begiN?
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life is happening so fast around me that i can't seem to keep up long enough to give you an update. or maybe i'm just trying to find my balance long enough to not fall over again.
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so here's a few snippets. i got my employment authorization card. then i got my social security number and possibly a job. then our green cards arrived in the mail within 2 (TWO!) days of finding out it was approved. then it was celebration dinners & thanksgiving and finding out details of my brothers death and trying to be sensitive to other people's journeys and heart aches and deciding when to visit my family (which i would have gone yeSterday if it was up to me, but it's not all up to me and apparently money does NOT grow on limbs) and the christmas lights need to be put up and the laundry needs to be done. and i'm working on two paintings at the same time.
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in the mean time, i'm struggling with existential questions and fears floating in and out of my body uninvited and bouts of crying (equally uninvited) while winter is creeping closer and people are eating and watching tv. i'm also knitting (but that's a state secret until christmas).
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so, here i am. scratching over a picture and writing what appears in my head. i'm afraid i'm half running on auto pilot and trying my very best to catch up (if that's even possible). like i said...puppet.
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i just finished this book and loved it: "the mermaid chair" by sue monk kidd
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(C) MJ Calitz, 2010