vibrations

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here's my thought of the day...
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be aware of all the sounds you expose yourself and your loved ones to. whether it be from words or music, movies or background noise, sounds are vibrations resonating like tuning forks inside us, impacting our health & balance. of course every negative sound can't be turned off, but if you are aware, you can take little steps towards restoring health & inner peace...like turning off that violent tv show that's irritating your nerves, tuning in to nature, listening to scientifically engineered healing sounds...or EVEN just being aware of the sounds that come out of your own mouth. i am not saying "be perfect." NO. i'm saying be aware.
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(C) Photograph, MJ Calitz, 2008.

just breathe

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when you feel vulnerable and scared
just breathe
when you feel stretched to your limit
just breathe
when you feel sorrow or disappointment
just breathe
when your body is bruised
your heart is broken
or your soul is searching
just breathe
when the pain gets too much
just breathe
and when you feel like you can’t breathe
…just breathe
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(C) Photographs & photo art, MJ Calitz, 2010

raspberry alice

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i am forever immortalized as alice with raspberry lips on a french girl’s blog
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and i wonder
am i really
what i say
how i look or
how i am perceived?
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what if my words are just strings of awkward and whimsical weaved together as poetry…or nothing?
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who is this alice?
it just sounds so fantastical
welcome to the greatest show on earth!
come see the brave, the rockstar-ish,
the very plastic
alice with raspberry lips!
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what if i am never her
and what if i am so much more
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stop. no more plastic. return to earth & sticks & shells
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i am woman
i am mind and body and soul
yes, weathered by life
& coiled too tightly
but i am real
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i don’t need to be defined by anything. not skills or looks. not a poem or a baby. i am enough just as i am. right now
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(C) Art & Photographs, MJ Calitz, 2010

bird fluttering

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is that a little biRd i feel fluttering inside my calm, cracking up my sanity? eggs, eggs and more eggs. she can’t stop talking. stop hoping! I CANNOT LIE. not about this. pills & needles& counting the days forced me to pay attention to the ruthless yearning pecking away at my soul. and not just my soul. no, the core of the SOUL of the soul. does the universe not want this for me? does it not feel the vibrations of my yearning rippling across it’s heart, knocking at the core of everything that is LoVe? little egg. little life. hope that is born & squashed a million times. eat this. noT that. no roller coasters. no sun…no SUN??? i will sacrifice the sun on my skin for a chance to carry life inside my belly…to be a giant egg. a round birdhouse. a belly nest. i cannot wait…no. STOP! don’t hope.
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i picked up the neighbor’s baby 2 weeks ago. 2 weeKs ago. i can’t forget the feel of his body in my hands…the smoothness of his skin…bone & weight. fragile and yet stronger than i expected. it's not as if i haven't picked up a baby before. wHat did i expect? i didn’t expect to feel nothing and yet remember the moment so vividly. i didn’t expect to feel the fluttering of a bird knocking @ my soul. i didn’t expect to feel EVERYTHING
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(C) Photograph, MJ Calitz, 2010

haiku-ish

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spring day
walking outside
alive!
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wicker chair in shade. birds
easter eggs on trees
it's good to breathe
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dogs barking
airplane passing by
he says my art
is definitely NOT SHY
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(C) MJ Calitz, 2010

ethereal

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(C) Photographs, MJ Calitz, 2010

fly anyway

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i have 3 things for you today. a collage...
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a painting...
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and a poem...
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fly anyway
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if she wants to paint eggs, then let her do it. as far as i know, there’s nothing wrong with repetition. in fact it’s quite healing. so what’s in an egg? fertility. opportunities. life. he cracks me up. now everything appears sunny side up. eat toast for breakfast. smile. welcome to your life.
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it’s just…sometimes i let the yellow push me into premature mourning & i become a human bird at a crossroad inside a cage, bleeding ink, unable to fly. but i forget that i am a butterfly & orange is rising slowly, surely, sacredly in me. so paint your eggs and your numbers, wish on a feather or a full moon & fly. fLy…fly anyway
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(C) art & poetry, MJ Calitz, 2010

enjoy the ride

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it's not about the destination. it never was. it's about the miles you add, feeling the sunshine on you face every now and then & the journey that is uniquely yours. don't try to speed it up. instead, savor every moment that is pure gift & grace...WELCOME TO WHEREVER YOU ARE.
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(C) Photograph, MJ Calitz, 2008. Photo edit, MJ, 2010

finding strength

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(C) Art, MJ Calitz, 2010

& sunshine in a salad

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(C) MJ Calitz, 2010

spring on the sidewalk

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Spring has arrived in Ohio. Yes, we'll still get a few cooler days, some rain, a snow dusting even, but for the most part it's sunny, there's evidence of new growth & green everywhere and people are washing cars and walking outside... It's awesome! Don't you just have so much more energy when the sun is shining? I went for a lovely walk around the neighborhood and big was my delight, when i came across this sidewalk painting, filled with sun & spring. It made me smile. & of course I had to go get my camera and take a few pictures to share with you.

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I love spring time. It's like my body and soul wakes up from a deep, long hibernation, ready for a new year with new challenges and opportunities. I love feeling the sun on my skin and the breeze in my hair, the taste of fresh fruits and salads, the sound of birdsong and frogs returning and when the flowers open, color and sweet smells everywhere.

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Of course on the other side of the globe it's autumn...So where ever you are and what ever season you're entering, enjoy the gentle breezes, the beautiful colors and the relief this season brings to you from being too cold or too warm to mellow and gorgeous.
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(C) Photographs, MJ Calitz, 2010

in my skin

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the luxury of skin, he said
and suddenly there’s a little song in my head
& a lot of possibilities in my soul
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he woke me up. (3 times he. 3 times woke me. 3 times up). whispering. screaming. being. and now i can’t sleep. and now i’m dreaming again. just don’t ask me about the future. because it’s not with you. because it’s not gonna happen that way. because i simply don’t know. i know. it’s not all sleeping in on weekends. and making banana pancakes. and yet. i taste cinnamon. no more broken doll. run. paint. be me. be where i am. on clouds or not. be in my skin
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the luxury of skin, he said. and now i’m awake. and now i can sleep again. because in my skin is where i am now. and it’s okay
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(C) Art & poem, MJ Calitz, 2010

new growth

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(C) Art (watercolor & color pencil on paper), MJ Calitz, 2010

the road you're on

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here's my message for today: sometimes you just gotta keep pedaling the road you're on, even if it gets rocky (then you pedal extra hard until the worst is over), because it's where you're supposed to be. and if you fall off, get up & move on. ask for help when you need it. feed your body & your soul. and don't think other people's roads are so much easier, we all have our own obstacles and easy stretches. my mom always say, "life is not for sissies."

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(C) Photograph, MJ Calitz, 2008

egg nesting

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(C) Art, MJ Calitz, 2010

coffee kiss

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it was a very innocent kiss
like happy birthday
or congratulations
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but
her lips were warm and soFt and tasted like coffee
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she kissed me with her warm coffee sipped lips melting over & in. in. in. the world stopped spinning. and for a definitive moment, eVerything made sense
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afterwards
nothing
felt
right
again
excePt
drinking coffee
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it’s funny then that I doN’t
drink a lot of coffee

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(C) Poem, MJ Calitz, 2010. Photo art, MJ Calitz, 2008

shift your gaze

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sometimes you just got to change your perspective. instead of sitting under water and feeling like you're drowning, get out and see the unexpected treasures hidden below
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Ps. it's slowly warming up here in Ohio. spRing iS neaR! have a sunny weekend. mj.xxx
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(C) Photograph taken in Florida, MJ Calitz, 2009

noT so pretty

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i eat. i run
i paint
i scream iNside
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sometimes i get fRustrated. i could eat my fingers. mustard is the flavor of my chicken dinner. mustard is the color of my walls. i cannot breathe. black holes suCk me in. i spiral out of control. i crash. i bleed all over this page

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someone once said that our feelings are the compasses of our souls

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shh! listen...
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dRaw a line in the sand
draw green circles of hoPe
& sign my naMe
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(C) Art & Poem, MJ Calitz, 2010

universal yearning

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yesterday i remembered that i wrote this (in 2008) and i keep coming back to it as if drawn by an invisible eye
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i want to press my face against your neck inhale your scent press my lips against your skin want to hug you long and deep feeling like i'm home & safe. i want to touch my lips to yours touch my tongue to yours & softly lightly graze until we feel the need to go deeper & go there. i want to play with you have a pillow fight build a castle from cola cans and straws. i wanna eat with you. cottage pie. ice cream on cones. cheese on thick slices of wholesome warm bread & drink tea at the kitchen table with you. with you. i want to write poetry with you read love poetry to you listen to you play guitar. i wanna go somewhere (anywhere) with you & take hundreds of pictures talk angle zoom, learn from you. i want to sit in a bubble bath with you build beards talk fears dreams heart things. i want to watch movies with you snuggle into your shoulder my hair tickling your nose. listen to you get passionate about music. philosophize about life love. i wanna hold victoria secret angel shows for you paint your toenails pink fall asleep holding your hand. i want to catch you staring at me. kiss your nose…
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today, unexpectedly, i saw your funny face again and i marveled at the inner workings of the universe

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ps. the picture might not make sense to you, but it reminded me of a time and a feeling...
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(C) Photograph & poem, MJ Calitz, 2008

purple soul

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purple girl. i am entangled in you. i am stitched into your tattoos. i am sucked into your maelstrom of melancholy & pleasure. each day is like riding on a strange carousel of horses & dreams. & sometimes i freeze, i whisper, i scream. & sometimes i dance on the graves of my unborn babies. i dare to say this because i have bled too many times. i will not fear my fears. i will not sneer at my weaknesses. i will not hide behind their stares any longer

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come dance with me
soul sisters & broken souls
sing, tease & cry
bring your graves & your carousels
bring your twirls & your decay
together we will mend our wounds
licked & kicked
our worlds
ripped & stitched
together we will survive
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some souls are purple flowers
& no matter how we fall
all we want to do is heal
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(C) Photograph, MJ Calitz, 2009. Poem & photo art, MJ Calitz, 2010