Happy New Year

May 2014 be the year that you can look back over your life and celebrate all the things you did right and all the progress you have made instead of be stuck in everything you think you did wrong or everything you think you can't be. May this be the year that you can say "yes" to whatever you dream of trying and "no" to whatever is just draining and heavy for you. And may it be a blessed year for you and everyone dear to you.

Lighten your mind

It's been a while since my last blog. In the mean time I've had a house full of Summer visitors, survived 2 icky colds and a car accident and felt like I lost my balance a little in the process. I also got qualified as a Reiki level I & II practitioner, yarn bombed some trees in my neighborhood, created some new pottery pieces and found my balance again.

This morning I listened to an Access Consciousness podcast and was reminded of something that I want to share with you. It's about how we see ourselves and the world.

How often do we judge ourselves & others (choices, points of view, mistakes, etc.)? How often do we get stuck in bad habits and our believes about them? How often do we say, "if only I can do/be/have (this) then I will be truly happy."?

This is what we do. We get stuck in a point of view and then we feel like we have to defend it, prove it, chase it, stick to it over and over and over, forever and ever. Sadly most of us don't even know that we're doing it. It just becomes who we are. We become our judgments, our labels, our guilt, our habits, the dream that is forever slipping through our fingers.

What if you could let go of even just one of those things that is keeping you stuck in unhappiness?

What if, instead of repeating these (often by now unconscious) choices, we say to ourselves as we notice this pattern, how interesting. How interesting that I have this point of view or this judgment (of myself or others). How interesting that I think I need (this) to be happy. (Do I really?)  How interesting that I think I'm stuck in this bad habit (or that bad choice) and that I think I have no control over it or no choice in the matter and that I have to carry this with me for the rest of my life. How interesting that I think I can't change my mind about a point of view that doesn't serve me anymore or isn't that important anymore...Phew...I can actually let that go. Right now. With ease and grace.

WHY NOT?

What I'm trying to say is this...If you suddenly looked at yourself and saw that you are carrying a bunch of dead weight for no reason other than you thought you had to (even though nobody is forcing you to do so), wouldn't you just put it down and continue on feeling so much lighter? How easy would that be? How enlightening would that be? And if you'd have no problem doing that physically, why not do it mentally too?

Before the new year starts, do yourself this favor: Put something down. Open yourself up to new possibilities and more authenticity by letting go of that which doesn't serve you anymore.

NAMASTE (The Light in me salutes the Light in you)

Let's go on a little journey

...You live in a sweet little house on the edge of an enchanting forest and some days you like to go for walks in the forest. Some times the walks are refreshing and inspiring and sometimes it's a little dark and scary, but you go anyway, because you are a curious being who likes to explore.
 

One day you notice that on your path there's a cage that has always been there but now you realize that you can either enter the cage and spend some time in it or walk around. This cage does not seem scary to you. It's almost like a giant birdcage that's actually quite pretty and secretly inviting. You decide to observe for a while without entering. After a few days you've gathered some information. There's some flowering vines twined around the bars, birds and small animals come and go, the cage door is wide open and every day, there is a little bag of money inside the cage that is yours for the taking...BUT there is also a man sized scorpion inside.  The scorpion lurks away in a corner. 

In the back of your mind you felt a tiny prick of fear and forewarning the first time you realized this, but the cage is inviting and the little bag of money seems to call your name. Think of all the things you can do with it...So what do you do? Of course you enter...the scorpion is probably more scared of you than you are of it and who knows, maybe he's even just a figment of your imagination...right? After all, the animals and birds that enter there SEEM to be unharmed. The bag is there for the taking...every day. And anyways, the cage door is open. You can leave anytime you want...right?
 

So you enter. The first day nothing happens to you, but you see the scorpion sting a rabbit and a fox. You brush it off, you were fine and you got the bag of money. Actually you feel a little brave. Who knew you had it in you? The next day you go again. The fox has returned and are stung again. You get away with the bag of money. On the third day, inevitably, you get stung. You're so surprised, and by this time hooked on the money, that you brush it off again. Plus, you've bragged with your friends that you are now both brave and rich...you'll be more careful next time and you'll only go two days a week.
 

By the eighth week of choosing to enter the cage twice a week, you've been stung quite a few times, you've tried your best, cursed, cried, bargained, tried different defense strategies and you've come to the realization that (1) the scorpion is real and (2) no matter what you do or don't do, you will never change the outcome, because it is simply in the nature of the scorpion to sting. BUT every time you've entered, you've walked away with the bag of money.
 

And therein lies the question...How willing are you to get stung by a scorpion for a little bag of money? How much weight do you place on what others think of you? Why do you assume that your friends and family care more about your image than your well being? Why didn't you listen to your instincts? And what if, when you finally decide to pass the cage by, there's a better opportunity right around the corner?

wHat iF

What if you didn't have to prove yourself to anyone? What if you didn't have to be liked by everyone? What if you weren't responsible for everyone's comfort & happiness? What if not focusing on those things opens you up to actually be more trustworthy, likable & caring?

about forks and questions

I didn't take this picture, but it inspired these next thoughts...

I am very aware right now of the thought that we are on an ever changing journey...what may have been challenging or terrifying yesterday, may be something we're proud of today...what may be the dream today, may become just a stepping stone for tomorrow...we are ever changing beings and our lives are roads leading into the unknown where we constantly choose to walk, run or rest, take a fork in the road, double back, get up when we fall, get in a car, a bus, a plane, swim if we must, drown sometimes, eat a sandwich, hold a hand, pray, curse, try, try again, turn left, turn right, change shoes...and so on and so on...life is not something you can plan today and follow to the letter for the next 10 years...the infamous" where do you see your life in ten years?"...who knows? Who cares...it never works out like that anyway. We may be behind the wheel, but we are not always in control. LIFE happens. The only thing we can do is live and learn and take another step. Not saying it's futile to dream. By all means, DREAM, it's what gives our lives direction. But don't get hung up on "getting there"..."there" is not a real place. Just be where you are and enjoy the ride, even if you have to ride piggy-back for a while.

Tomorrow I'm taking yet another fork in the road that is my life. I'm taking an access bars massage class. This might seem a little out of the blue to some of you, but lately I've become very interested in energy healing. Art and antiques seemed to have been (awesome) stepping stones, bringing me lots of gifts like courage and learning to go with the flow and opening new doors, etc. Now I feel like I'm on the doorstep of something big, something that fits me like a glove. And it it's just the beginning of some really exciting possibilities. 

I'm learning about essential oils, crystals, oracle cards, energy healing methods and ways to look at life that just sometimes blow my mind. Stepping out of the expected, out of the ordinary, and out of the answers and into the questions...How can my life get any better than this? What else is possible? Who knew I was capable of that? etc...ALL MY LIFE I'VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR THE ANSWERS, WHEN ALL ALONG IT'S BEEN ALL ABOUT THE QUESTIONS. Living in the possibilities rather than the little boxes that the answers fit into that shrinks my life to full stops instead of ellipsis marks (...). Because my story is not done yet. 

Next time you are looking for the answer, why don't you just sit with the question for a while and see what happens. Maybe all the universe needs to answer is to not be drowned in all the answers you think you have, or should have...maybe a little bit of trust really goes a long way and patience and excitement is the cherry and the icing on top of the piggy back ride.

Be well

MJ

let

Life is not about 

being in control or

being afraid of judgment or

acting in this play of how you think your life should be while yearning for/expecting a different outcome


Life is about

experiencing/living every moment as it is put in front of you

authentically, honestly, non-judgmentally

embracing uncertainty

trusting your journey

what if...

This post is not intended to scare you or change your believes. It is intended to make you think about the choices you are making and the possible consequences of it.

There is a school of thought that believe what many ancient civilizations have predicted that the end of the world (or the end of the world as we know it) is very near. The exact date of many of these predictions is 21 December 2012. 

I am not going to try to prove this to you or convince you of this  because the truth is, I don't know either and it's none of my business what you believe or not. BUT here's the thing...

What if

What if in just 6 weeks it is decided whether (a) you are granted a place in a different reality (lets call it heaven) where there is an absence of aching and yearning and fear based living OR (b) you are send to return again and again to another 2000 years of "hell on earth?" 

Or, if that's too much for you to take in...Simply ask "what if I have only 6 more weeks to live?"...

 WOULD YOU FROM THIS MOMENT ON CHOOSE TO

- live by/react from a place of either love, compassion and understanding for humanity OR fear of not being enough/not getting enough

- would you either hang on to grudges (and thereby imprisoning yourself) OR forgive (setting yourself and others free)

  

- would you live with gratitude for all the abundance and many blessings in your life OR with constant yearning for what you don't have or think you should have and thereby creating your own little private hell

- would you make amends if you still could OR hoard/hide your guilt and shame

- would you speak your truth OR hide from the possibility of ridicule

- would you accept the moments of pure love that other human beings in your life (who are also carrying heavy burdens and trying to survive in this chaotic world) are extending to you OR would you choose to slap their hands away in proud pettiness

Because here's the thing...what if you did only have 6 weeks left???

be well and be loved

mj

about doors...

When you release something, it doesn't always mean that you have to close that door forever. Sometimes it just means that you can choose if or when you want to enter through it again.

 

beautiful video

so beautiful and so true. watch the whole video. It continues after the credits rolled. 

http://youtu.be/D4zWBHFCmXM

It is good to cleanse your life from the constant and heavy responsibility you might feel to be everything for everyone, to keep in contact with every person from your past, to prove yourself to everyone, to compete for everything, to document your whole life or to keep every possession. Life can be much simpler if you choose. You can choose to let go of objects, rituals and supposed to's that weigh you down, block you from moving forward in life, remind you of failures and heartaches, don't mean anything to you anymore. Just let it go. Come back to what is important. Being alive. Loving. Connecting to the Greater Creative Energy. Just be you, but lighter and more open to new possibilities. 

Be well

MJ

Nail polish remover to the rescue

If you're a parent, a crafter, a handy person, or a mixed media artist, you'll probably use super glue at some point because your usual craft glue won't do the job. Unfortunately super glue can harm you and is a lot harder to remove than most other all purpose white glues that can be rubbed or washed off easily. It would be best to avoid skin contact with super glue, but if you're like me you'll inevitably get it on yourself. 

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HERE'S A GUIDE OF WHAT TO DO IF YOU GET SUPER GLUE ON YOUR SKIN.

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1. When the glue touches your skin:

(a) Don't panic.

(b) Don't try to rub it off immediately. Skin on super-glued skin will bond within seconds.

(c) Just let it dry for a minute.

(d) If it's on your hands, don't touch anything, specially not your eyes. (If you do get it in your eye or on your eyelid, rinse immediately with warm water and contact a medical professional.)

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2.When the glue is dry on your skin:

(a) Don't try to pull or scratch it off. You could tear the skin.

(b) Don't leave it on your skin. There are harmful ingredients in the glue that can irritate your skin.

(c) Soak a cotton ball in some acetone based nail polish remover and rub over area (soak a little if there's a lot of glue or the glue is resistant to come off). The acetone will break down the bond.

(d) Then gently rub or scratch over the area until the glue comes off. 

(e) Repeat if necessary.

(f) When all the glue is removed, wash the skin with soapy warm water to remove the acetone.

(g) And lastly, apply some lotion to counter the drying effect of the acetone.

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If you get it on your clothes...same deal. Use acetone and an old toothbrush to scrub the glue from both sides of the fabric. Wash like normal when you are sure that all the glue is removed.

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PS. Acetone based nail polish remover is also very handy to remove sticky residue left by price stickers and sticky tapes.

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Happy crafting!

I trust

... in the wisdom and the divine right order of Life. No matter what kind of day I had or how exhausted I feel, I can relax into this belief. Everything happens for a reason at exactly the right time. Nothing is coincidence. There is a bigger plan and waves of growth... I give and receive, I release and I heal, I trust and I flow. It's about not resisting, not clinging and not forcing. It's about choosing your highest self whenever possible and forgiving when it is not. It's about asking for help when you need it and being receptive to any kind of answer. It's about being of service to others without needing any kind of validation from them. It's about having dreams and understanding that all, some or none of them may fit into the bigger picture and that's okay. It's about patience and practice. It's about being at peace with being in the present moment, being grateful for the blessings, and compassionate about the mistakes of the past, and trusting that everything's going to be alright. 

happiness multiplied

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...imagine your heart was a bouncy castle and all the loved and forgiven mini me's bouncing happily around inside...doesn't that make you feel happy already? (ps. if you don't know what I'm talking about, read yesterday's blog.)
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just love the little bugger!

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Have I talked about mini me's or mini others before?
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So here's the thing...We all have different parts of ourselves...parts that we love and share freely and proudly, parts we'd rather forget and therefore hide or suppress, and parts in between that we're not quite sure what to do with and might show to a selected few. I'm not talking about body parts here. I'm talking about parts of our personalities.
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For instance, you might have a little fat kid inside of you, possibly a big mouth or an addict, probably a critic, a student, a slut (yes, I said a slut). There might be a teacher in you, a perfectionist, a pleaser, a rebel, a victim, a scared kid, an exhibitionist, an artist, a liar, a cheat, a wise elder, a hermit, a wall flower, a selfish brat, a judge, jury and/or executioner, a fighter, a mother, a thief, an obsessive compulsive, a prude, a needy greedy baby, a martyr, an inspiration, a delight (does people often call you "sunshine"?), a too good friend, a bad friend and a just right friend, a poet, an abuser, a temper waiting to explode, a patient angel, a healer, a slacker, a forgiver, a lover, an idiot and/or a genius, a scatter brain, a nerd, a jock, a skinny chick, a "please proceed orderly into the box" kind of person, a leader, a follower, a skeptic, a snob...the list goes on and on. You could have any, all or none of the above personality parts, even when they're contradictory. Each one of us is unique and have our own set of mini people inside, our inner community, if you wish.
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Who of you had the automatic urge to split these up into "good" and "bad?" Don't worry if you did. That's what we were conditioned to do...judge. When we are born, we are showered with other people's believes about ourselves and the world, we get rejected, punished, hurt, maybe even teased or abused as we grow older and as a result, we learn to see the world as a survival obstacle course and we learn that certain behaviors aren't acceptable to those around us. We even develop survival strategies and addictions and personality parts that sometimes land us into much deeper trouble and come with a super sized dose of guilt and shame. So we hide them. We push them down deep into the closets of our mind, shut the door firmly and bolt it to make sure nobody finds out. And here's the interesting part...we project them onto others because we think that if we protest loud enough people will know that we are not that.
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BUT these things have a tendency to pop up anyway and it gets SO much harder to love yourself, even when you're a big success on some levels when you are secretly trying to hide/fight/ignore/punish some part of you that you haven't made peace with. You are the walking wounded with a thick armor making war and/or keeping prisoners inside. HOW do you have the energy to get up in the morning, to face yourself in the mirror, to love any one else? (This question is not meant as a judgment. It is an honest question of genuine concern.) So maybe you're a warrior and you think you're okay (as long as you manage the secret properly of course)...and then what? THEN it turns inside out and starts to attack your body...cancer, weight gain, diabetes, etc and even harder, we live an unauthentic, unhappy life, built on lies and fears and we create unhappy, unhealthy and/or unbalanced relationships. No wonder the world is so sick...and tired. Because pretending to be who we are not (hiding your real self) is not an easy feat, specially if you're pretending to be who someone else wants you to be and keep on failing. And being disgusted by ourselves and punishing ourselves (whether you are conscious of this or not) is not healthy.
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You will never truly be at peace, truly be whole, unless you face your demons, face the parts of you that you have labeled "bad" or "wrong", forgive yourself and learn to love yourself...ALL of you.
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That's a tall order.
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No it's not. Sure it will be a journey which you'll need courage and brutal honesty for, a healing process, and you'll need to give yourself patience and compassion to work through it, because you're doing an awesome thing not only for yourself, but also for those around you.
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Some of you may know right away what I'm talking about and will know exactly which parts of themselves they need to give love or learn to forgive and some of you may never actually have considered it and are doing it on an unconscious level (even then, you need to do this because if you are honest with yourself, maybe you are not truly happy). And some of you might already have walked this path (Well done).
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If you haven't considered this before, sit down with a pen and paper and start naming your parts..."all the parts of me" ...see them as little people (mini me's)...the little fat kid, the little banshee bitch, the little liar, the little poet, the little show off, etc. Don't hold back. List all the parts, good or bad, specially those you've labeled bad. Then look at each of them separately and see their fear and their creativity...see why you "birthed" them and how they were just trying to protect you or help you or numb you or heal you in the best way you could conceive of at the time. Put them each in your heart (there's enough space for everyone) and love them and forgive them, in fact let them hug and forgive each other. Embrace yourself. ALL OF YOU.
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And while you're at it, do the same with people who you love or who've hurt you. Some of them may already be in there without you having to think about it twice and some may seem impossible to ever love or forgive. Do it anyway. Shrink each person to miniature, see their vulnerability, their fears, their hurts, the little kids inside them, their unique offerings both good and bad, and love them all the more for it.
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And every time someone is treating you unkindly or ticking you off do this exercise ...ask yourself, who is really the uncomfortable/guilty one here...Did one of us honestly do something we can improve on next time (and if so how can I react respectfully and compassionately), or is one of us projecting a fear on the other (meaning one of you is triggering a mini me in the other that is protesting too loud and may be lashing out), in which case you shrink the little bugger and love him or her with all your might, before you do or say something you might regret later. This process does not have to be done in the heat of the moment and can be repeated as often as you need to.
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Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Be proud of yourself. All of you. Do the same for others. And remember, there is always enough space in your heart for EVERYBODY.
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(C) MJ Calitz, 2012

thiNk about it...

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Watch this documentary..."I am" by Tom Shadyac, or the "Super Soul Sunday" episode called "What is wrong with our world?" containing this documentary. It is about the misconceptions of our world/our culture that causes the "illness" of the human race and our world, who we really are, what heals us and how we as individuals can change the world. Watch it, digest it and begin the discussion, asking "What is wrong with the picture of this world we are living in and how can I make a difference where I am?" (I found this on the OWN TV network)
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Also watch the documentary "Nostradamus 2012," keeping in mind that soon it could be the end of the world as we know it bringing with it destruction of epic proportions, taking away everything we so greedily abuse and take for granted and/OR it could be the dawn of the age of Aquarius bringing a new way of living based on hope and enlightenment OR everything could go on as is, but is that really what we want? (I found this on one of the history channels, H2, I think)
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Take whatever you want to take from these two amazing documentaries, but know that you can not watch these documentaries and just shrug your shoulders. These are wake up calls designed to make you think and hopefully act in which ever small or big way that you are comfortable with or feel you can do.
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So these are the questions I want to give to you to start either your own internal discussion, or your discussion with whoever is in your world...Do you REALLY think the world we live in is okay? Is it okay to be ignorant? WHY? (apply this question to anything that doesn't make sense to you.) What is my REAL purpose on earth? What SMALL thing can I do to make it better on some level? Do I really need ALL of this or can I give some of it to someone who needs it more? What makes me feel better/happy/healthy? What small changes can I make to my life to be more spiritual/to CONNECT more to what matters most? How can I be of SERVICE to humanity...or to God/the Universe/the Greater Creative Energy/Life in my own humble way? What am I really GRATEFUL for? Who needs to know that I LOVE them? Who can I FORGIVE (including myself)? What kind of ENERGY am I sending into the Universe? Am I making myself/my relationships/my world more ill or am I healing it? What noise can I cut out of my life? What is my PASSION, and if I'm not living it, why am I not living it? Who and what really matters? How can I be part of the solution?
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And to end today's blog, these are my thoughts right now on everything I've learned so far, spirituality, doomsday predictions, evolution, LIFE, etc...The more information I get, the more I understand that there are many ways of looking at these things... and at best, most efforts of making sense of it all, are best guesses and personal opinions mixed in with science and the mystical. It doesn't help us to ignore all the possibilities, neither does it help to get obsessed about any one or more parts of it. The best things that we can do for ourselves, our evolution and our world, is to find what is true for us and strive to be open minded and flexible, to be willing to grow and learn form our experiences both good and bad, and to live our highest possible lives from a spiritual platform of compassion, respect, gratitude and service.
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(C) MJ Calitz, 2012

books that can change your life

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Hello my dears...it's been a while. Sorry about that! I've been meaning to get back to you, but I've been SO busy reading reading reading and learning learning learning that time has slipped through my intention.
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What am I learning?
I'm like a sponge right now, learning about essentials oils, pottery, knitting and crocheting, learning Spanish, learning how to heal myself and let go of old and negative patterns, learning how to communicate with more honesty and compassion (specially with those hard to deal with individuals), learning positivity, patience, flexibility, learning how to give and receive, and how to be grounded, centered and connected.
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And in between
there are taxes to be dealt with, passports to be renewed, healthy eating and exercise, volunteering at the pottery studio, occasional yoga & qigong, friends to enjoy and life in general.
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What am I reading? What did I read? And what is on my wishlist to be read? (in no particular order and including some ancient reading material I'll always recommend ) -

• "Shift Happens" by Robert Holden
• "How to not be afraid of your own life" by Susan Piver
• "In the meantime" by Iyanla Vanzant
• "The essential oils handbook" by Jennie Harding
• and "The little book of aromatherapy" by Kathi Keville
  
• "Falling for me" by Anna David
• "The happiness project" by Gretchen Rubin
• "500 Animals in clay" by Lark Books
• "The basics of throwing" by David Cohen
  
• "Disarming the narcissist" by Wendy T Behary
• "You can heal your life" by Louise Hay
• "The life you were born to live" by Dan Millman
• "The art of uncertainty" by Dennis Merrit Jones
• "Crochet bouquet" by Suzann Thompson
• and "100 Flowers to knit and crochet" by Lesley Stanfield
  
• "One day, my soul just opened up" by Iyanla Vanzant
• and "Yesterday I cried" by Iyanla Vanzant
• "The book of awakening" by Mark Nepo
• "Soul pancake. Chew on life's big questions" by Rainn Wilson
  
• "The last lecture" by Randy Pausch
• and "Tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom
• " Broken open" by Elizabeth Lesser
• and "Eat, pray, love" by Elizabeth Gilbert
• Anything by Eckart Tolle, Garry Zukov or Wayne Dyer
• "Chakra tonics" by Elise Marie Collins
• "Reinventing your life" by Jeffrey Young
• "Spanish for dummies" by Susana Wald and Cecie Kraynak
• And "Spanish" by Onlingo (audio)
  
• "Mister God this is Anna" by Fynn
• "Conversations with God" by Neale Donald Walsch
• "Sacred contracts" (audio book) by Caroline Myss

I think I'm about two thirds through this list :P (and there will be many more to add)
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So that's what I wanted to share with you today. Hope all is well in your world.
Love, MJ

flower

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(C) Pottery & mixed media art in these pictures, MJ Calitz 2011

listen with your liver

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"Listening is being able to hear what others are saying without having to take it personally or feeling the need to justify your thoughts or feelings. The more we can listen the more we can truly understand what others are trying to say and that can spare us from a lot of needless conflict." - Daniel Dowd -
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the truth about love

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LOVE IS NOT a fantasy. Love is not a prison. Love is not about how desirable or how enough you are (or not). Love is not about what you need. Love is not about supposed to’s. Love is not about ignoring yourself, controlling someone or being diminished. Love does not hurt. Love is not about being perfect. Love is not about making you happy.
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LOVE IS a mirror. Love is a soul contract. Love is about teaching you who you are and what you want. Love is about choosing to be here. Love changes you. Love lets you be who you are. Love is about honesty, generosity, forgiveness. Love heals you. Love, like life, is designed to make you stretch and grow and become the person you’ve always been, but forgot you were. Love expands your soul. Love makes you strong. Love makes you whole.
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(C) MJ Calitz, 2008 & 2012

you're on your way

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If you're like me, you'll know what I'm talking about when I say that I've been living "IN THE MEANTIME"...neither here nor there...not always feeling 100% at ease in your own skin...not quite happy with where you are, always looking for the thing or the person that will gently catch your fluttering wings, calm your frazzled mind and allow you to become who you were meant to be.
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This also includes people in in between situations...being in between jobs or relationships, being in the process of moving or immigrating, waiting for the right person, the right job, the right moment to leave, waiting to get pregnant, skinny, rich, WAITING for the right moment to jump into life (or almost all of the above in my case)...Whatever it may be, it's about not being fully present, fully grounded, fully alive and it's not a happy, content place to be. It's always a little FOGGY in "in the meantime-ville." You have not arrived yet and you're not necessarily sure where you are going or how to get there or sometimes even if things are really that bad.
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You might find yourself feeling TRAPPED in a relationship or a place that makes you feel restless, anxious, not yourself. In fact being in such limbo usually brings out the worst in you and you find yourself often wondering...WHO IS THIS PERSON I've become...this angry person, or this pathetic person being so scared or passive? You find yourself doing or saying things you've never thought you would, grabbing onto every little piece of driftwood (or drift-person) or hiding in carefully constructed "safety zones" or rituals. You don't really like yourself much when you're like this but you don't know how to get up and out of your head and join this thing called LIFE.
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Sadly most people living here, in in the meantime, believes that the power that is supposed to elevate you into becoming "THE REAL YOU" is to be found outside of themselves and they never quite get there, because the truth is, the power is not outside of you in another person or another job, etc. The power is INSIDE you...the power to be present and awake and steering your life in the direction you want it to go. I've realized this a while ago, but I still have a hard time fully living it.
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Now look...there are those people, we all know people like this, who are assertive and sure of themselves and take the bull by the horns, who are quick to say, stop whining and just do it. But here's the thing, IT'S NOT ALWAYS THAT SIMPLE. Because if you are a spiritual person you will know that (1) we all have different personal and spiritual paths to walk and (2) there are behind the scenes forces influencing your life and soul contracts that pulls you in to be in certain relationships and live out karmic energies. This is why we sometimes find ourselves in relationships where we are forced to be outside of our comfort zones, forced to deal with things that hurts us, forced to examine our situations and to find new ways to deal with life and new belief systems.
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THE WHOLE PROCESS OF LIFE IS DESIGNED TO MAKE YOU LEARN AND GROW AND EXPAND YOUR SOUL until you become who you are meant to be in this lifetime. And yes, you can choose to leave such an uncomfortable place because we as human beings have free will and sometimes this is the right choice to make. BUT, if you did not learn the lesson the Universe has intended for you to learn, you'll find that the same things keep happening over and over to you. And they get worse. This is the Universe whispering and whispering to you until the whispers becomes brick walls falling down on you. If three different sources tell you the same thing, you need to LISTEN because that is not a coincidence. You have a spiritual path you cannot escape. We are not just little ants trying to physically survive. Your life (and love) is designed to teach you certain things and everything in your life steers you in that direction whether you are aware of it or not, whether you want it to be so or not.
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Now...you can CHOOSE to ignore this and keep on running from it, keep on bumping your head, or keep on living in in the meantime-ville. OR you can get quiet and attentive to your life, BECOME AWARE of the patterns and the people you keep on attracting, the things you are forced to deal with and the lessons you can learn from every situation...if you are totally clueless about what this is, get more quiet and more attentive. Meditate. This centers you, opens you up to healing, calms you. Or... pray for guidance, read books, talk to other spiritual people, SEARCH for ways to become more tuned in and to balance your energies and to open your mind. This process is amazing. The more you pay attention, educate yourself, open yourself up to the possibilities and process, THE MORE YOU GET. It's like water dripping from a frozen faucet and the more you let the sun shine on it, the more water is let through.
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This is where I am now. I'm trying different things, opening new energy paths, investing in my own wellness. We can't always see where we are going, or we know where we'd like to be, but don't know how to get there. If you don't CHANGE something in your life, as little or as much as you are comfortable with, you can't expect your life to change. There are millions of "TOOLS"...pray, meditate, visualize, healing music, centering exercise, oils, attempt to change one attitude or habit you don't like, choose to react differently to something negative, add a ritual, become more flexible, more compassionate, more forgiving...begin with yourself.
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Here's something I just recently learned...IT'S OKAY to be in the meantime, to slow down and be where you are. It's okay to make mistakes and bad choices in the process of struggling through these hard life lessons. Grieve if you need to grieve, rebel, fight, find your footing, then search for a better way, an honest way, a higher way that will allow you to move forward and not stay stuck. Set your intention every day to grow and learn and be open and flexible so that you can RELAX INTO YOUR LIFE, into who you've always been.
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TOOLS I'M USING RIGHT NOW:

• Book: "In the Meantime. Finding yourself and the love you want" by Iyanla Vanzant (This book is genius! It's forgiving. It's teaching. It's easy to read and totally eye opening.)
  
• Book: "Shift happens" by Robert Holden
• Meditation
• Praying
• Visualization of how I want my life to be
• Essential Lavender oil and Bio oil, dripped in my bath or rubbed on my skin. And there are a lot of awesome oils for specific needs.
• Exercise: Yoga, specially yoga practices that focuses on flexibility and stress relief
• Exercise: Qigong (Breathing and Slow moving exercises balancing your chi/ life energy. I just started this class and it's really cool!)
• A friend recently offered to give me a cranial massage (helping to clear chakras and promote energy flow) if I teach her to knit.
  
• Paying attention to my instincts, little messages life sends, music that speaks to me, my patterns, bad habits and negative behaviors in a neutral, non judgmental, compassionate way.
• This song is currently soothing to me: "Heel over" by KT Tunstall from her "Eye to the telescope" album. Also the "Relaxation for Women" cd from the "Lifescapes" series helps me to calm down when I'm too frazzled to meditate.
• Being proud of myself, of how far I've come, of every little victory, of showing up for new healing rituals and practices and letting go of negative ones
• Choosing to be present and honest in my communication and time spend with loved ones no matter how uncomfortable. (And this doesn't always go so well, because I'm still very clumsy and unsure, but just the intention and every little attempt is a step in the right direction.)
• Trusting that God/The Universe/The Greater Creative Energy knows what's best. Learning to be more flexible, patient and forgiving, specially with myself, even forgiving myself for being impatient or falling back on old habits.

The spiritual path is not always the easy path, but it's the only path that will allow you to become all that you are meant to be.

(C) Photograph, MJ Calitz, 2011

about energy, intentions, praying and blessings

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I hope you don't think I'm this preachy person who tells you how to live your life all the time, because I really don’t know it all and I’m struggling with all of this myself, but here’s the thing…I feel the urge to share my spiritual experiences with you from time to time (which is all the time lately) because maybe someone gets something from it. It’s my way of giving back because I’m grateful for being so blessed in this way.
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Okay, so…I get these foggy periods of time when frustration boils up until I have what I call emotional meltdowns where I rebel against God until all that is left is nothing but a plea for help with whatever I’m struggling with at the time and, I kid you not, the very next day I usually get some kind of wisdom which literally addresses my concerns of the moment.
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For example, I’ve been struggling with resentment for a while now and then what do I get the day after one of those meltdowns last week?…a TV show about energy and intentions, directly addressing the issue of resentment, which I have recorded weeks ago and scrolled over until that day not knowing exactly what it was going to be about. Isn’t that mind boggling and brilliant. Sometimes it's a TV show, sometimes it's a book, or an aha-moment or something someone says to me as a matter of fact, but no matter how, I get these clear answers from Someone. A lot of people will probably laugh at me, but I honestly believe that if you ask the right question stripped of all the bullshit and motives and greed, you will get the answers, because God truly wants us to evolve and become all that we are meant to be.
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This is what I’m learning right now…
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ABOUT ENERGY AND INTENTIONS -
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Newton’s third law of motion: what goes around comes around. The energy you are putting out is coming back to you all the time whether you recognize it or not. Action. Reaction. If you are angry or judgmental with yourself, you are going to draw to you angry and judgmental people. (What are you drawing to yourself?)
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Reacting is an opportunity to step back and say, wait a second, I’m going to react in a different more evolved way and send out a different energy, which is going to change the energy that comes back.
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Your desire to improve creates new energy paths that allow you to do better. (When you know better, you do better.)
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Intention is everything. Love is the ultimate intention. Love covers a multitude of sins. Love heals bad karma. (Remember to love yourself, forgive yourself, be kind to yourself too.)
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If you feel resentment, remember that you don’t HAVE to do anything. What if you just said no. So make the choice to either do it and do it with love, or don’t do it. If you continually do things that you don’t want to do that is causing you resentment, ask yourself, why are you doing it. If you have the disease to please, the message you send out to others is that you will say yes, whether you want to or not. Before you do anything, stop to clarify your honest intentions.
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You are allowed to say “I don’t know” and you’re allowed to ask for as much time as you need and if whomever are involved don’t want to give you that time, they are allowed to leave. Don’t just say “yes” because that’s what’s expected.
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Don’t be holier than though about choosing to love or give or grow. Don’t buy into being “the savior” or the “superior being.” Choose to learn and give and grow because you see the true benefit.
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And whatever you are constantly repeating in your head, change it from negative to positive.
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ABOUT PRAYING -
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Don’t be afraid to share your feelings and struggles with God. If you get angry with Him, a lightening bolt won’t come down and strike you dead. Be honest (even if it’s ugly) and open and acknowledge your intentions and short comings. Admit if you don’t know the answer or the way forward. Ask for what you need.
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Learn to differentiate between wishes and intentions. A wish often comes from what isn’t working in our lives. An intention comes from a more soulful place. It’s a head goal vs. a soul goal. Realize that it’s not just about you…ask, for example “if this is in the best (highest) interest of both me and those around me, then please allow it to happen”. Learn to ask clearly for what you want. Be careful what you ask for it often comes back in the form of a life lesson rather than a gift.
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Trust that the Universe/God/the Greater Creative Energy knows what is best and that even if you don’t get an answer or resolution when you expect it, there are behind the scenes forces at work and wheels turning.
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ABOUT LIVING A SPIRITUAL LIFE -
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Practice spirituality, whatever that means to you. Meditate. “You can only see your reflection in still waters.” “Be still and know that I am God.”
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Give. Forgive. Love. Thank.
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Be kind to yourself and to others. It is always possible to take a step back and see the bigger picture. Choose compassion.
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Everybody is going through their own personal crisis at any given time. Nobody is perfect, not even rock stars and we all make bad choices at some point in our lives. Realize that every crisis, every mistake, every drama is a lesson. Learn from your painful or uncomfortable situations.
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Slow down and be present. Live in the moment. Things can change in the blink of an eye. Listen to your instincts. Be grateful for what you have, for both the sacred and the ordinary. Being present for all that is really a gift.
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Hold on to your dreams, articulate it, visualize it, believe in it, start where you are and take it one step at a time. The deepest courage we can exercise is continuing to believe in our dreams until we make them come true. It is our real job in life to recognize the power inside of us, to recognize it, connect to it and use it.
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Learn to go with the flow of your life path. Stop gripping the sides in fear or swimming upstream. Don’t fight your life, grow from it, relax into it.
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As I said previously, I don’t know it all but while I’m being blessed with wisdom passed down to me (through whatever sources and whether I learn from it myself or not) I gladly pass it on to whomever choose to read here. I’ll end today’s blog with a compassionate Buddhist blessing silently extended to passing strangers or to friends and loved ones… “May you be happy.”
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(C) Photograph, MJ Calitz, 2010