barely here

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so where DID my words go? i guess i'm going through a silent phase right now. i haven't written a lot of poems the last month or so and the few i wrote, were either too private or too raw to share here. honestly though, i don't think it's that you couldn't handle reading it...but more that i couldn't handle it being read. sometimes you just got to listen to your soul and give it a little down time. not so in the spotlight all the time. not so vulnerable & exposed. sometimes you got to focus on other things. like finding your inner artist. even though others might not see it. might not believe it. might not support it. sometimes you just gotta let go of that fear and all those expectations and anything else that keeps you away from your dreams. and be you. without apology. so this is me, not apologising. this is me blowing you a kiss and saying "don't worry, i didn't forget you."

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this piece will be part of a long term project. i've shifted from paper towels to using muslin squares to clean and blot paint brushes, which makes for awesome & spontaneous little collages infused with whatever i'm feeling at that moment. i'm thinking a little fabric art book or maybe an art quilt. time will tell. this one is a combination of acrylic paints, bronze glaze, gloss gel and permanent markers as well as papers, ribbons, lace & metal elements. here's the fun part: these are supposed to be imperfect & experimental, not only allowing me to learn as i go, but also to add character and personality. why not. i will share more in future.

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be well

mj

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(C) MJ Calitz, 2009

amber light

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the warm colors of autumn flowers, the way the light kiss the petals and even when half the film is blurred...there's something about these pictures that speaks to my soul...

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(C) Photographs, MJ Calitz, 2009

square cocoon

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how funny is it that i made this and realized afterwards that i find myself in a square cocoon of my own making?

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how to: i started with 8x8 canvasboard, added layers of tissue paper and paint and stiched a paper napkin square with butterfly motif to a square of muslin (the sides unravelled). i then added cardboard, a poem, threads & washers, glued the top two layers to the cavasboard (adding 3 ribbons secured between the layers to hang it) and finished the piece with touches of paint, gold gel pen & beads.

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(C) MJ Calitz, 2009

red barn

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(C) Photographs, MJ Calitz, 2009

both & everything between

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sometimes my heart is smashed

sometimes my heart is green

and sometimes my heart is both

and everything between

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(C) photograph & verse, MJ Calitz, 2009

softly

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(C) MJ, 2009

clown girl

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she's my little clown girl. acrylics on 11 x 14 inch canvas with 3D elements.

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(C) Painting, MJ Calitz, 2009

paint me

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if i were a bird house

on top of a bench

paint me with flowers

thirsty & pink

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(C) photographs, MJ Calitz 2008. photo art & verse, MJ, 2009

pLay

If you've been wondering why I've been so scarce the last week or three, here's your answer…or at least part of it :-P… I've been busy with some art projects, playing with paint, paper, wood, canvas, fabric, beads, etc. & I will reveal them as I go. The rainy weather has been both a blessing and a curse, giving me time to sit down and create, but also slowing the process down (trust me, humidity is not a friend of paints, glues & fixatives.)
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So here's a piece I call [blueX9]. It still needs to be finished with a fixative, but for the most part, it is done. It's roughly 8 x 11 inches, acrylics on paper, glued onto blocked, sanded & painted hardboard. The 3D elements are string & dried paint from paint tube caps.

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If you click on the 3rd picture (to enlarge) you will get a better idea of the texture, which I created by roughing up the paper a bit while gluing & randomly scraping wet medium with an old credit card or dabbing with a piece of cloth. I layered black gel pen & different dilutions of blue, red, gold & white acrylic paint, using stamps, stencils & brushes, until I got the effect that I wanted.

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doN't be afraid to pLay with painT

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(C) Art, MJ Calitz, 2009

time is a verb

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the time it takes for a car door to rust

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for weeds to grow tall

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for the clouds to pass so you can take a picture of the shadows those weeds make on the rusted car

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or to catch a ray of sun on the bumper

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time is a verb.

patience is the lesson.

and the pay off,

is beauty

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(C) words & photographs, MJ Calitz, 2009

how super!

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nail polish ?(!)
on a boy ???
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& wHy noT?
it makes the eyes poP
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:-P
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the original black & white photograph (not shown here) of my nephew, Gideon, was taken by a family member. it was so darling, i couldn't resist playing with the image.

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(C) MJ Calitz, 2009

i. flower

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like yellow & butterfly...i can't quite describe the way you make me thrive...like sunshine in paint on blues & grayish greens, you make me queen. & sometimes i blur a little. but you always shine a light on me

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(C) words & photographs, MJ Calitz, 2009

vintage

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two weeks ago one of my friends made me a very happy girl. he put a camera in my hands (or a fairy box, as the folks at the renaissance festival kept reminding me) and gave me permission to roam his backyard and take as many photographs as my heart wished. keeping in mind that his backyard contains a barn as well as half a dozen old cars, i was in fairy box heaven for a couple of hours. this was my favorite FAVORITE picture of the day. i almost can't believe that i took it. watch this space. more will most definitely follow...

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(C) Photograph, MJ Calitz, 2009

treasure

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i found treasure...papers, fabrics, yarns, trims & rusted things. some in craft shops, some from home, more from friends who knows that i'm collecting these things. when i saw this little rusted gun, i wanted to eternalize it inside a nest of paper & creamy texture, like this...

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(C) MJ Calitz, 2009

gather ye merry skirts

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Renaissance festival, Harveysburg, OH
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(C) Photographs, MJ Calitz, 2009

inside the cake fairy's soul

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(C) MJ Calitz, 2009 (click on pic to enlarge)

the colors we possess

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we made love in my mind

& i saw

all the colors of the rainbow

explode

inside

my skin

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(C) MJ Calitz, 2009

carved

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somehow your face got carved into the light & hard of my days. and i had to take a picture

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(C) Photograph, MJ Calitz, 2009

journey rocks!

Okay, i don't normally post music videos on my blog, but there is always an exception, yes?

Last night we went to a concert of Journey with their seXy new lead singer Arnel Pineda. They opened with an aWesome cover of Foreigner's "hot blooded," ROCKED out songs like "wheel in the sky" & "seperate ways" and meLted hearts with "faithfully." Here are videos of my favorite two songs of the evening"...

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"anyway you want" (with a stunning guitar solo by Neil Schon)

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&
"lights"

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peace out
mj

love & lace

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i am not a doLL.
i've decided that
a long time ago
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but
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porcelain & lace. bLack lace
is how i feel some days
about this stillborn thing
we insiSt on calling "love"
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or. like a raggedy anne
with no arms
permanent smile sewed on
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he stabs me with words
pouring from his aRtless soul
& i become the invisible child again
& i grieve. & i smiLe
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i used to think that love was
a magical ballooN
with layers of depth & delight
liFting you. up. up. uP
but you. you cut me doWn
without regard. & i fall
& i grieve. & i smile
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how can you deny me my souL,
walk away
& then return hours later
wanting to maKe love?
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i am noT a doll
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today i sat down & found my focus.

take back your arms &
believe in yourself.
if i can do it,
so can you
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(C) Words & art, MJ Calitz, 2009