rock star-ish

*

roCk sTar-ish, she said

& light

*

twiNkle twinkLe little stAr

hOw i wondeR what u R

*

eNter the bLue room. enter the

fans bloW me cool

blow me hot blow me aWay with

eyes staring& fingeRs probing

in matter oh sO soft

& i fLy

pie in the sKy

coolwhip the clouds

& dance on high

read mE. see Me

[add some sighs]

*

eyes like cows...

biG & frieNdly

grass is gReen

fish sWim deep

sOft like sheep

whiTe & woolly

& we're back to

cooLwhip the clouds &

pirouettes in the skY\

*

tWinkle twinKle little staR

hoW i woNder whY u R

*

*

*

*

(C) Copyright MJ Calitz, 2008

angels

(cherub in my garden, pic 2007)

*

*

i have this dream to visit graveyards and take pictures of angel statues on graves. gray white angels set in stone their wings forever frozen mid flight, their feet cemented to the ground, their faces full of grace and sadness. this summer, maybe i will...

*

*

sulet

(soul sister & sister in law. pic 2005)

*

*

Jy teken mooi prentjies
En jy lag diep uit jou maag
En jy sê ons moet snow angels maak
wanneer my hart wil huil
*
Jy vloek sonder om skuldig te voel
En jy bid uit die binnekamer van jou siel
En jy rook nog 'n sigaret
terwyl jy liries raak oor perde en katte
*
En jou maag is rond, maar jy is beautiful
want jou kinders weet jy is real
Jou hart weet hy's tuis in jou lyf
En jou voete is plat op moeder aarde
*
Party keer wens ek, ek was braaf soos jy
want jy gryp die lewe aan sy ore
En jy sê loop k@k
as dinge en mense laf raak
*
En ek wens, O ek wens jy was nader
want JY is my sielsuster
Aan my geleen deur god en die heelal
En ek hou, ja ek hou so baie van jou

*

*

(C) Copyright MJ Calitz, 2007

cruel artist

as you paint me

*

boldly

(too cocky)

*
carelessly

(too cold)

*

honestly

(too painful)

*

in your own picasso style

*

what a cruel artist

you are...

*

*

*

(C) Copyright, MJ Calitz, 2001

dance!

there's nothing quite as lovely
as stripping down
and dancing naked

come on, do it!

let the music flow through your soul

& the rhythm pulse through your veins

swirl, whirl, twirl

shake your booty
shake your hair
shake your arms in the air

bob & bounce
flirt & flaunt
rock & roll

make your own moves

be the singer & the band

curl, unfurl
be a girl
don't be a girl

just be
be movement
be joy
be holy, crazy, sexy, free
dance! and nothing else
forget the world
be the world
be beautiful
be silly
be the smile on god's face
feel the universe embrace

do this as often as you can
dance. dance! DANCE!
*
*
*
(C) Copyright MJ Calitz, 2008

draw a heart

***************** (photograph taken 2005)

*

.

*

heart in hand. toe in sand

what if i draw like a child

what if i draw my own lines

.

*

grl ovr board

GRL OVR BOARD!

stretched legs comfortably 'twined catch my pOpcorn'd eye, take a dive in flying high & sucK me into come again. his & mine become mine, hers & yours. you pull me over. stitch me uNder. eyes caress. lips undress. i surface & dive. aGain. and again. you swallow my fin &lick my eye. your saLty lips take oySter dips. your fingers play the octopus. eight armed &fly &eVerywhere. connecting fReckles & tattoos. trace constellation'd lover's limbs...

i smell sea shells &bLue

i jump ship & skinny dip in black starSprinkled sea

(the stars have always been ouRs, lover

…i just hitch a ride from sky to sky)

tonight, we swam in sTars

i breathed your sighs

our swimming legs

iNterTwined

*

*

(C) Copyright MJ Calitz, 2008

* * *

*

wHat iF i wAs a sTaRfiSh ?

*

free expression

***********************************['95]

*

*

so whaT if i color
iNside the lines. sometimes
most of the time. never
wHo? draw those lines
&why is the grass
always gReener tHeRe?
is water? black or bLue
or transparent
effervescent my pOp
fence my pRickly peaR
i don't give a fiG

i fLy
if you want to crawl
that's youR business
cleopatra had sTyle
miLk my bath
suck my staR
i'm alive! juicy &sTrong
who cares? aBout the lines

*

*

(C) Copyright, MJ Calitz, 2008

thirsty

your love is so delicate
like icing sugar filigree
sprinkled on my tongue
and i am too afraid to breathe
lest i swallow you whole

your touch is so soft
like yards of creamy lace
and i am wrapped up in you
too afraid to move
lest i drown in your embrace

your tongue is so smooth
like honey flavored tea
slipping down my throat
and i dissolve in your mouth
honey, drink me

are you thirsty too?
*
*
*
(C) Copyright MJ Calitz, 2008

no picture today, just words

DO YOU?

do you meditate?

and if you do, do you have techniques for clearing your head like imagining you're in a room and cleaning or sweeping the room. or seeing thoughts fly off with little wings or like the pages of a book curling off in the wind? do you see your breath? for me cleansing breath is always fresh sea air, love is puffy pink clouds and healing breath is soft white and minty flavored. crazy right? yes? no? do you imagine yourself particle for particle becoming one with the bigger picture? do you chant things like "love & healing" or "i am enough"? do you ask questions? do you get answers? do you talk to god? does god talk to you? or do you just switch off and breathe?

when you meditate do you find peace? how long does it last? how often do you indulge? is it something you need, crave, can't live without? something you just do occasionally? something you're curious about? or just another thing on your list? do you find it easy, hard, impossible? can you even sit still long enough or quiet the voices within? and what do you find if you do? do you find perspective, your centre, balance or just a quiet place? do you unload or receive? do you give back? do you have your family's support or hide somewhere they can't see. or don't do it at all because it's just not worth the effort and teasing? this is a serious question. everyone doesn't understand. why is there so much resistance to something so natural? or are you one of those people who think it's crazy, silly, wrong?

do you meditate? tell me all about it.

*

*
namaste
(the light in me salutes the light in you)

purple hue

jy breek my hart party dae...

new years stain

new years eve
i
curl
in
pain
pop pills like m&m's
eat. laugh. talk.
bleed rivers
drink champaign
play games till 3 am
darkness gulps me down
& traps me in a song
where we will NEVER belong
4 am. i breathe you in
you
strip
me
down
play every fantasy
like bad porn
in my warped sLeEPLesS brain
5 am. i dance in blood
i
dance
for
you,
my beloved UNborn
i dance barefoot on your non existing graves
i grieve for you, my babies, my UNborn
by 6, i am insane
(again) i come a thousand times
in
every
possible
way
until there's no more pain
shh! no more…more…
you leave my mind the way you came
uninvited. aNd sTill ThAt sOng
pLaYs
and plays (!)
like a stain that won't go away
play. stop. rewind. REplay
a million times. no fade to gray
i HATE that song! i love that song
i feel sick. i feel no more
at last, mercifully
sleep saves the day
just before i render myself inane
on this hApPy nEw YearS dAy (!)
hey hey

*

*

*

(C) Copyright MJ Calitz, 2008

song: "paralizer" by finger eleven

butterfly

even though i am
released
and captured again
daily
in a cocoon
of emotional turmoil
in my heart
i am still
a butterfly

.


(C) Copyright, MJ Calitz, 2001

she got aliced

gwen got cupid fountained,
inversioned
yeah, she got aliced
little grl, orange dressed
she played in my garden
she dreamed in dolphin hues
i blinked. once
twice
now she's teen princessed
goth-ish &proud
she's growing up
she's falling in
& suddenly, teapots aside
the world's too small
yes, she got aliced


(C) Copyright, MJ Calitz, 2008

sometimes

.

sometimes i get overwhelmed

sometimes i feel fake

sometimes i lose control

.

tangled up

what am i doing here? your words are birds with snow white wings. they flew from your pen straight to my yearning heart. i ate them like little frosted cakes. i lingered. and before i left, i ate my heart and called it a kiss. i gave it tiny wings. i send it straight back to you. and then i wondered: wHat am i doing HERE? here in your stare. all tangled up in your legs. your mad hair tickling the corners of my mouth. your hands roaming my body like herds of woolly sheep. YES! i'm writing about flying, again. i'm writing about sheep. i'm writing about snowy white. beCause. your faceless words take me there. i feel. safe


wait! back up…



this is not real



this is me trying not to bleed



(C) Copyright MJ Calitz, 2008

strawberry paint

(i)
i ate my porcelain crown, swallowed it with chicken & toNgue tied silence. words escape, fLy, doesn't return. oh lover, i shined the giant mirror with thoughts of you, sitting on twin vanity like a bare footed fRog legged gymnast, glassballing reflections of wHere? are you and where am i? blowing sMoke in my own eye

(ii)

on virginal white paper i draw fuNny black pictures, fever painting red polka dots on my rag doll face stitched inside my scream. i bleed black puLp. i swallow my sulk. i eat only white. i see you but gRey skies look like scary monsters vomiting clouds. black nights. no sTars to ride. rain. rain. rain. when? will it stop. i see you but oh loVer, where are you? and where? am i

(iii)
fresh strawberries paint my imagination with valentine kisses of sunny skies & snap out oR die. i will nOt. die. hopeful fingers dig, find both our hearts like tWin birds frozen in time. massage. i snap pictures in rosy hues of me iNside of you. you drink me like sWeet wine. talk love. we bloom. hearts beat in tune, escaping the real, harsh & cruel. i choose to liVe in your ear your hand your heart. i live in picture cubes for you. 3 x 3 equals 9. and strawberry smiles paint your eyes



(C) Copyright MJ Calitz, 2008