inner balance

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Look at the pictures of this old barn. Yes, it's fragile, old, broken, peeling and to be honest a bit sad when you start to focus on all it's imperfections. Nevertheless there's a quiet beauty that shines through the crisp autumn sun rays. And if you look at it from certain angles, it even looks a little proud, surviving the seasons, rich with history.
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This can be applied to our lives too, finding the beauty and the calm and the richness inside. You can do this exercise, if you wish:
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Sit calmly and comfortably in a quiet spot. It doesn't matter what time of the day it is. If you wish, you can do it in a cross legged yoga position with your eyes closed, but if another position feels more comfortable to you, then do that. The idea is not to follow by the book, it is to feel relaxed, but focused and be uninterrupted for a few minutes.
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Alright, once you are in this position, begin by taking a few deep cleansing breaths. As is normal with the human brain in the hectic chaotic lives that we live, thoughts will come rushing into you mind, like lists of things to be done, problems to be fixed, worries, etc. Try to resist these...not in a "go away, you are not allowed" kind of way (that will only make them more persistent), but in a "I'm letting you bounce off me like bouncy balloons" kind of way until there are no inner voices competing for attention anymore. Allow yourself a generous amount of time to achieve this balance. Keep on breathing.
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Once you've mastered this, turn your attention back to everything that is affecting you right now, whether it's past, present or future. Yes, I know this sounds counter productive, since we've just spent time trying to resist this very thing, BUT this time, we are going to use focus and calm, creating a safe, less overwhelming environment. We are not making lists. We are not solving problems. We are acknowledging our subjective reality to enter our minds one thing at a time, giving everything the recognition it deserves, but without judgment. Let me explain why...often when you ignore a petulant child, he or she will throw a tantrum to get your attention, blowing the situation out of proportion, but if you give the child recognition, without feeding the drama, the child will calm down enough for you to address the issue. Also if you take away the judgment, that takes away the need to be right/good, the fear, the rebellion. This is exactly what you're doing here.
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BY THIS TIME, YOU MIGHT WANT TO GIVE UP, BUT DON'T. You're doing a great job and you're on the way to finding your inner strength. And all of the above can be done in a matter of minutes, if you focus. Here's a breakdown of HOW TO FOCUS:
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One at a time, allow the following kinds of things to enter your mind, see them like photographs coming and going...Acknowledge your imperfections, fears, insecurities, worries, things you are having a hard time with. If need be, say, "I see you and I understand why this is hard." Remember, no judgment or trying to solve problems, just see them for what they are and let them go again, this time without worry. Send them out into the Universe and trust that things will work out. Now see your achievements, your beauty, your health, things that make you feel proud and strong. Feel the gratitude and the history of it all sink in. Next, focus on the people that touches or touched your life...the ones you loved and let go by choice or by no choice of your own, the ones still in your life, who makes you smile or worry, who hurts you, who strengthens you. See the painful times without judgment, the gift that is each and every one of them, their temporary nature. Feel the bond between souls connecting you to the heart of the universe.
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None of this needs to be in order. Let each thing flow naturally from your brain without trying to make a list and without any judgment, if you do feel judgment enter your mind, recognize that too and let it go. Nothing is wrong here. You are just giving your mind a chance to unravel the chaos and let go of the anxiety of being so overwhelmed by it all. You are letting go of expectations. You are seeing your place in the universe and acknowledging everything good and "bad." You are restoring balance.
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Lastly, return to now. See the rest of your day lying ahead of you. See it with hope. Recognize the possibility. Give yourself permission to not be perfect, but set your intentions in doing the best you can to give love, healing, creativity and or positivity back to the universe in any little way you can. Finish with some deep breathes and thank yourself for showing up and doing a good job.
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NAMASTE
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(C) Photographs, MJ Calitz, 2010